Vegetas haircut (and consequences)
by MorgothBauglir
Summary: Vegeta gets a hair cut involuntarily and the DBZ group has to hide out with tenchi and group.More sake,nosebleeds and innuendo then you can shake a stick at!


Ok my first fanfiction

Disclaimer(I don't own any anime anywhere. If you can't stand a little innuendo stay away.i am not responsible for any medical or parental problems resulting from reading this fic)

  
  
  
  


Vegetas Haircut

  
  


"NO DAMN IT WOMAN I WONT" 

Vegeta was extremely angry. 

Bulma sighed and put her hands on her hips.

"come on Vegeta its master Roshis 100th birthday party.i bought you a new tuxedo and you need a haircut to go with it"

Vegeta grumbled

"That suit belongs on a waiter not a warrior. I won't wear it. AND I WON'T CUT MY HAIR"

Bulma tired of arguing tried a different approach.

"Please we hardly ever get to go anywhere you just train all day.it would mean a lot to me"

Vegetas face started to unclench.

"All right I'll go,if you insist I'll even wear that penguin suit. But I won't cut my hair"

Bulma sighed in relief. That battle was won and she had a plan for how to deal with Vegetas refusal to get a hair cut.

  
  


Goku was watching tv when the phone rang. He picked up the receiver

"hello, oh hi Bulma"

"Hi Goku I need a favor"

  
  


Bulma pulled Goku into her house.

"Ok I've got the scissors wheres Vegeta?"

Bulma put a finger to her lips 

"Shhhhhhh, be quiet! If he wakes up you wont be able to cut his hair, no human barber would be brave enough to cut his hair and the party is tomorrow night."

Goku quieted down.

"Ok ill be quiet."

Vegeta was sleeping on the couch with his head up at one end.goku tiptoed up and surveyed Vegetas hair. He pulled the scissors from behind his back and started cutting.

  
  


10 minutes later Goku walked out of the living room to Bulma who was standing in the kitchen.

"um ok Bulma he's done"

  
  


Bulma smiled and walked out toward the living room. Only by covering her mouth could she stop from screaming. She rushed back into the kitchen and shouted as quietly as possible.

"What did you do to his hair Goku?!"

Goku rubbed the back of his head and gave a nervous smile. 

"well I took a little bit too much off, and when I tried to even it out it well got worse"

Bulma took another peek into the living room. With a shudder she turned back to Goku.

"Goku if we value our lives I think we should get far far away from Vegeta until he calms down."

Goku started to sweat profusely.

"Ok I guess you're right."

  
  


Goku told chichi of his situation so she suggested that they take a vacation. When Kruillin was told about Vegeta he decided that the best thing to do would be go into hiding as well in case Goku needed any help. Bulma was of course coming along, not wanting to hang around for the fire works. When master Roshi heard about Vegeta he decided that a vacation was just what he needed. They decided that rural japan would be a nice quiet place to hide out. Master Roshi said something about getting back to his childhood. They decided on a small shrine near Okayama....

And thats how their vacation started

  
  


Goku, Kruillin, Chichi, Bulma and master Roshi trudged up the seemingly endless stairs to the shrine. The train ride had been slow and the rental car ride tiring (especially for Kruillin and Goku who wanted to fly). They were finally here ready to go into hiding though. Chichi turned to Bulma as they were climbing the stairs

"How long do you think Vegeta will take to calm down?"

Bulma frowned.

"Id try to avoid any estimates right now."

  
  


Vegeta opened his eyes and got up. It was probably past 7,the sun was close to the horizon 

"Oh yeah that birthday party for the old weirdo"

He got up and stretched 

"Hey Bulmas isnt it time to go?"

He looked around.

"Where are you woman, we'll miss your precious party" 

He checked the down stairs and didnt see her. Maybe shes taking a bath or something .He walked into the master bathroom and looked around the room.

"Where could she be?" 

Then saw something odd. The mirror.....his hair

All was still for the barest of seconds."How, no one could sneak up on me! except...

  
  


KAKKAROT!!!!!!

  
  
  
  


Goku knocked on the front door of the masaki home.a teenage boy answered the door.

"Pleased to meet you, im Tenchi you must be the guests"

Goku shakes his hand.

"Hi im Goku and these are my friends"

Tenchi bowed to the rest of the group and motioned forward

"Please come in."

Goku and the rest moved into the foyer. 

."May I introduce you to the household."

Ryoko appears out of the ceiling and wraps her arms around Tenchi (as usual). Tenchi sighs and says 

"this is Ryoko"

Ryoko turns to the newcomers.

"hi how are you"

Ayeka is snapped out of her soap opera induced stupor and jumps up attempting to bash Ryoko in the head with the coffee table. Suddenly she realizes they have company. She looks embarrassed. 

"Oh hello there."

Master Roshi has started to maneuver around toward Ryokos back so he can check out her butt. Bulma smacks master Roshi in the face 

"Don't even start you old deviant"

Master Roshi notices his nose is bleeding profusely and runs around looking for a box of tissues. As he runs down the hall, the closet door opens nearly hitting him in the face as it opens. Out steps Washu.She sees Roshi as the old weirdo dives at her chest 

"Ewww, stay away, you look as old as me!"

Tenchi sighs again 

"This is Washu."

Washu sees Kruillin and her eyes light up.

"Wow a human without a nose, ill have to run some tests."

She puts Kruillin under her arm like a bag of groceries and carries him into her lab. Roshi lies on the floor for no apparent reason. Sasami opens the door from the kitchen and is about to say dinner is ready until she notices the guests have arrived. She comes out and introduces herself properly. Chichi gets puppy eyes "oh shes so cute."

Yosho opens the front door and comes in 

."Oh good our visitors have arrived. Greetings I am Yosho keeper of the shrine "pleased to meet you"

Says all of Gokus group. Yosho notices Roshi lying on the floor. Very unchacteristically he shouts like a drunken frat boy

"HEY ROSHI, MAN IS THAT YOU?"

Roshi regains consciousness and sees Yosho.

"YOSHO DUDE WHATS UP?"

Everyone is frozen still with mouths hanging open. Tenchi is the first who manages to talk.

"Grandpa you know this guy?"

Yosho laughs 

"Know him, why went to college together. Could chug a keg faster then anyone!" .Roshi grins 

"Remember when we won the drinking contest against gamma frat."

Yosho laughs again. 

"Yeah I fell over at 34 beers but Roshi here beat em. 67 beers!! Still holds the school record as far as I know.then he flattened all the cans against his head, what a riot. AHAHAHHAHAHA!"

  
  


Everyone except Yosho and Roshi tip over and fall including the house. Sasami ushers everyone toward the table and they sit down. Even master Roshi gets up and sits at the table.

"Good thing I got a truckload of rice delivered this morning huh"

Sasami says to Ayeka as they watch Goku practically inhale the obscenely sized pile of rice in front of him.

Washu returns halfway through the meal with Kruillin under her arm. He has swirls for eyes, and a large band-aid over where a normal person would have a nose.

"I found where his nose is"

She declared to the group.

"Through some stimulus I got those 6 little holes in his forehead to shoot blood!!"

Not wanting to find out what the stimulus was the Diners invited Washu to sit down and join them. By the time the food was gone Ryoko was as drunk as Boris Yeltsin on new years eve and passed out face first into her dish. Chichi was revolted by the sight of yosho and roshi singing the Nakomi tech fight song totally out of tune while swinging jars of sake back and forth. Kruillin had come to and was having a civilized conversation with Sasami.Wahu had disappeared to the lab again leaving the most sober to arrange sleeping arrangements. Ayeka was being prudish and had not touched a drop of sake all night. Bulma walked down the hall and tried to get into Washus lab. Washu opened it, and they went inside and started a heated discussion on the use of Bernoulli's law in creating the worlds best fusion powered toaster oven. Kruillin decided that he would be simple and take the couch. Goku and Chichi took the guest room, Sasami and Ayeka went to their room. And everyone else still around the table was too plastered to even care.

  
  


It was close to 2 in the morning when Bulma and Washu left the lab. Bulma yawned deeply 

"Im really tired how bout you"

Washu shrugged.

"Nah. not really"

Bulma staggered over to the couch that was opposite Kruillin and plopped down on it. Within 30 seconds she was out cold. Washu was sort of between major projects at the moment and so she sat down on a chair to ponder what she should do next. A thought occurred as she saw Kruillin snoring on the couch. Her patented evil grin spread across her face as she grabbed Kruillin without waking him and carried him toward the lab. He was inside the lab again before he started to wake up.

  
  


Ayeka had been waiting to make sure that Sasami was asleep.she then got up from her bed and tiptoed out the door to the hall.

"Tenchi if I can't get you while your awake ill have to settle for you while you're asleep."

A devious smile crossed her face as she imagined what she planned to do. She traversed the hall silently and quietly opened the door to Tenchis room. She tiptoed across the room and started to slip into Tenchis bed. Just as she got in, he stirred and sat up. Amazingly he didn't notice her and got out of bed on the other side to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

  
  


Ryoko decided it was late enough to again try and win Tenchi.This time she decided there would be no messing around, just take off her clothes and jump in. Even Tenchi wouldn't be able to resist that right? She disappeared from the roof and appeared outside of Tenchis door. She slowly opened the door and slipped in

  
  


Ayeka, with her head under the covers heard the door open. She stayed quiet and hoped Tenchi wouldn't notice her. She was GREATLY surprised to hear the sound of clothes falling on the ground. Ayeka jumped for joy inwardly 

"Tenchi has finally figured out im the one" 

She thought as she slipped out of what clothes she was wearing.

"All right!!!! "

Ryoko thought to herself as she hoped into the bed. Tenchi returned from the kitchen hearing some noise coming

from his room. He quickly opens the door and turns on the light.

"What the hell are you two doing in my room!!!!".

Then he saw what was happening.

"AND DOING THAT!!!!!!".

Ryoko and Ayeka realize it's not Tenchi they're kissing but each other. They both scream simultaneously. 

"YOU!!" 

And start trying to strangle each other. Tenchi figures out whats going on and is relieved.

"That was getting close to nc-17 there."

He sighed and left the two angry women to battle each other. He took the couch that Kruillin apparently vacated and went to sleep again. For reasons unknown the house was not destroyed by the subsequent apocalyptic battle between Ryoko and Ayeka.In fact no one even wakes up.

  
  
  
  


The rising sun came in through the window waking Goku up. It was 5:30 and no one was up yet. He snuck down the hallway careful to avoid the beaten up boodies of Ayeka and Ryoko lying sprawled on the floor. His stomach growled like a rabid dog.

"Oh yeah im HUNGRY."

He walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen. He looked through the cabinets and took out anything that struck his fancy. Soon he had a sizeable pile of food on the table and started to dig in. When he had finished the food already on the table he pulled open the refrigerator and looked at its contents

."cool"

Was all he could manage. Chichi had most of their fridge filled with fat-free yogurt and celery. Of course he ate that whenever it was in the fridge but that stuff couldn't match all the cool stuff in this fridge.He didn't bother taking out the food he just ate out of the fridge directly. Then he noticed the other fridge next to the one he was raiding. He opened it up.

"Now this seems more like home."

The entire fridge was filled with carrots.

"Well must make due."

He declared as he dug into the wall of carrots. Ryoki hopped into the kitchen. Instantly she recognized something was wrong and rushed toward her refrigerator. She howled when she saw Goku had all her carrots on the floor and was eating them. Ryoki and Goku become embroiled in a tug of war over the last carrot. The household is woken up by the commotion and comes downstairs.

"Aieeeeeee what are you doing Goku?"

Goku turns around to see Chi-chi with an angry expression on her face.

"Ummm, I was eating breakfast"

Chi-chi stares un believingly at the mound of empty boxes and wrappers on the table.

"You've eaten everything except these instant soups "

Goku gives his blankest face ever.

"Uh sorry"

Chi-chi frowns 

"Well we'll just have to go to the store and shop for the masakis"

the thought of more food registers in gokus dim skull.

"Ok lets go!"

Chi-chi smiles 

"Luckily I remembered to bring along my coupon book "

With that she draws out an encyclopedia-sized book and brandishes it like a weapon.

There is another pause as the realization of the comparison-shopping hell he is about to endure seeps into gokus brain.

"Wait a minute ....coupons ...AHHHHH help me noooooooo!!!"

Chi-chi shoves him out the front door.

"Luckily I remembered the capsule car"

Chichi tosses the capsule on the ground and a car appears.

"Ok bye everyone we'll be back in a few hours"

Chichi gets behind the wheel.the semiconscious with fear Goku is lying in the back.the car roars off down the road leaving everyone in desperate need of caffeine to avoid collapsing in the driveway.

  
  


Sasami puts the soups in the microwave and sits down at the table. Yosho and Roshi both have terrible hangovers and totter from side to side as they walk. Ayeka and Ryoko gradually get up from the floor and decide that they're too tired to try and kill each other until they get their breakfast. The soups are done soon enough and everyone eats up the prepackaged mediocrity.bulma recovers her strength and goes into the lab again to see what Washu is doing to kruillin. As the breakfast crowd is starting to disperse, a knock is heard at the door. Tenchi gets up to answer it. He opens the door and doesn't see anyone until he looks downward.

Its Pilaf

"Hello is this the Misaki shrine"

Tenchi nods.

"Yes this is how can I help you"

"Im the head of RVSG or Recovering Villains Support Group.these are the members."

He stands aside and we see the people behind him

"this is Frieza, this is Cell, and this is garlic.jr"

They all wave like idiots.

Tenchi shudders inwardly

"What a bunch of freaks!"

He fakes a smile and invites them in.the villains move into the house.roshi sits up to see who is coming inside. Seeing the three biggest villains in DBZ history he falls on the floor.bulma leaves the lab and sees the three villains entering the house.

"Aggggh, what are you doing here?"

Frieza smiles

"why it's the funny human girl I haven't seen you in a while"

Just as Bulma is about to scream something unusual happens.the door to the lab opens again and washu steps out stark raving nude.she laughs aloud.

"hahahahahaha, using kruillins Ki powers I have made myself invisible"

She notices everyone is staring at her.master roshi whos getting up has his nose explode in red haze and falls on the floor again.washu looks puzzeled.

"Im invisible, can you see me?"

Everyone replies in unison.

"YES"

tenchi turns a little red

"Um gee maybe you should put some clothes on."

Washu looks down at herself.

"Suggestion noted"

She then turns and disappears back into the lab.

Garlic.jr frowns. 

"Actually you have nothing to fear from us.mr pilaf has helped us work out our aggressions and now we're all better."

They all give crest commercial grins.bulma looks sick to stomach.

"I think I liked you better as heartless maniacs"

ayeka looks around for a second

"Hey where did the green one go?"

They hear noises in the kitchen.they rush in to see sasamis feet sticking out of cells absorbption tube.

Pilaf rushes forward.

"No cell, bad cell, stop that!!!!"

Cell spits out sasami 

"Im sorry I was having a relapse"

Pilaf frowns.

"Well this calls for an emergency support session."

All four of them gather in a circle and link hands.pilaf leads 

"Now repeat after me, admitting we have a problem is the first step to recovery"

"admitting we have a problem is the first step to recovery"

"I am one with the me I, am rooted in the me, who is on this adventure"

"I am one with the me I, am rooted in the me, who is on this adventure"

"your bad, your so bad and thats good but in a bad way"

"your bad, your so bad and thats good but in a bad way"

"ok do we all feel reassured now"

"yes pilaf"

"good, special session ended.now cell you apologize to that poor little girl"

cell turns around 

"Im very sorr...."

Sasami smashes him in the head with a frying pan.he falls over dazed.she smiles.

"Apology accepted."

  
  


Everyone sort of settles down after that.ayeka gos out to do the laundry, ryoko follows tenchi around trying to get his attention, yosho goes back up to the shrine and pilaf follows him.Garlic.jr and cell start chasing butterflies outside as part of pilafs sensitivity training.tenchi remebers that he has to sweep the stairs to the shrine and starts off with ryoko in tow.roshi is bored and tries to think of something to do.

"Hey theres an idea!"

He goes over to the couch and picks up the phone.he dials in the number he knows by heart.

"Hello spice channel id like to order stephanies wild party 3.ok and put the bill on my tab."

He picks up the remote and turns on the tv.within five minutes he is canatonic only seeing the tv.just then frieza runs in.

"Quick Ellen is on im gonna miss it"

roshi doesn't notice his eyes glued to the screen.in desperation frieza falls to his knees.

"Please it's all I need all day to stay in a good mood!"

Roshi doesn't notice a thing.

"that does it you old fool."

Frieza disappears then reappears dragging roshis trunk.it is filled to the brim with his magazines.frieza dangles one of them in front of roshis face.slowly roshi notices.

"ummmmm, hey bonzai babes issue 48 what are you doing with that?"

"Turn on Ellen now or it becomes ash"

roshi looks back and forth from tv to magazine trying to decide which is more important.

"Times up"

With a tiny blast of Ki the magazine disappears in a puff of smoke.

"Now turn the channel or I will do the same to all the rest of your filthy magazines"

roshi explodes with rage 

"YOU INSOLENT FOOL"

frieza takes a step back as a huge aura surrounds master roshi.all the furniture starts lifting off the ground and the whole house starts to shake.roshi prepares a kamehameha that will surely destroy frieza.as his power rises the walls start to crack and break the house collapses showing ayeka leaning against the dryer for protection.noboyuki tied up in his room because he didn't fit into the story and bulma getting out of the shower naked.roshi thrusts his arms forward to fire then notices bulma standing naked just few feet away.his attack stops and his nose does its Niagra falls impersination.frieza passes out on the floor in fear.bulma starts screaming.

  
  


Luckily washu comes out of the lab within five minutes and uses her atomic resquencer to put the house back together. Noboyuki explains how some weirdo walloped him in the head with a keyboard and then tied him up with speaker wire. Frieza comes to and runs outside the house still fearing Roshis wrath.at this point Kruillin comes out of the lab and looks really tired.he explains that washu needed extra power for one of her machines so she put him in a hamster wheel to provide power.as everyone is getting back to their normal routine another knock is heard at the door. Tenchi opens it to see a large green freak followed by a teenage boy.

"Umm hello im tenchi misaki who might you be?"

"Im piccolo and this is gohan"

cell immediately looks up and runs for the hills screaming

"agggghhhh no the kid, must control emotions argggghhhh"

Bulma notices who's arrived and smiles.

"Hey everyone piccolo and gohan are here.finally some more normal people"

Tenchi shudders inwardly

"They're normal!!???"

Piccolo puts on his normal expresionless face

"well I thought you would be here"

gohan smiles and waves 

"Hi bulma, do you know where my mom and dad are?"

Bulma nods 

"Yes they went out shopping"

Ayeka walks into the living room and bows cordially trying to act as normal as possible with the latest arrivals.then pilaf returns from the shrine and sees piccilo.

"Hello piccilo how are you"

"um im fine"

"Well actually you look rather ill at ease piccolo, are those villainous instincts rising to the surface?"

Piccolo is taken aback by what pilaf says.

"no not at all im just naturally in a bad mood"

"come now piccolo look inside and tell me are you really happy?"

Piccolo stands there and then slumps his shoulders 

"You're right being a good guy is so boring I want to become a bad guy again"

pilaf shouts in triumph

"Thats right! And the only way I can cure you of these villainous desires is for you to join my support group!"

Piccolo grins in a completely out of character way 

"Yes thats right I will join your support group! I've denied my need for help for too long!"

Pilaf smiles

"Good then first we must discover a true calling for you that can replace fighting in your life!"

Piccolo follows pilaf off to another room.gohan just stands there totally aghast.then he quickly recovers, rubs the back of his head and gives a really fake laugh.

"Well I think he should be back to normal soon"

(note: at this point gohan is 17 and hasn't met videl yet). He enters the house and starts asking bulma about how Goku managed to get vegeta so angry. Tenchi was trying to finish his chores around the shrine but ryoko kept on distracting him, trying to catch his attention.despite the fact that he had seemingly made an indoor sport out of avoiding the lustful attentions of his female guests he was only human.yosho walked down the stairs saying he was going for lunch and that tenchi should come along also once he was done sweeping the walk.finally he finished sweeping and goes back to the house.tenchi and ryoko entered the house to sit down and watch tv when the front door oppened.goku walked in.

"Hi Goku"

says everyone

"hi guys, hey gohan I didn't know you were here"

gohan thinks for a second 

"Hey dad where is mom?"

Goku scratches his head 

"Umm, oh yeah I knew I was forgetting something"

gohans eyes widen 

"What do you mean?"

Goku tries to think of a good excuse for where chichi really is.he fails and uses the only idea he has.

"Uh well son your mom was killed in an oven explosion at the supermarket"

all the DBZ group yell

"WHAT"

Goku looks a little stupid

"Um.....yeah it was some stray bagel that got caught in the chimney causing an apocalyptic explosion.I guess I should have looked for her ashes or something."

The whole DBZ group is in shock.

Gohan is totally freaked out.at this moment pilaf comes down the stairs with a triumphant look on his face.

"Hey look everyone I've found piccolos true calling in life, beanie babies!"

He motions for everyone to come upstairs and look at his sucess.he opens the door to the villain's room and we see a sight not for the soft of stomach.sitting on the floor is piccolo, surrounded by a whole ton of beanie babies.hes holding a dog in one hand and a cat in the other.he talks in strange high-pitched voices out of the side of his mouth for the two stuffed animals.

He turns to the dog.

"Hey bones what do you want to do"

(weird voice)"gee I don't know piccolo how about we ask our friend fish"

Piccolo holds up the cat

(weird voice#2)"I don't know what do you guys want to do"

"I know! Group hug! Group hug!"

Piccolo hugs the stuffed animals

"You guys are my best friends!"

Everyone except piccolo and pilaf start slowly backing out of the room terrified at the monster the short blue guy has created.they all run out and slam the door behind them.slowly everyone starts to relax and they go back to what they were doing before the whole piccolo incident.gohan is ghostly and odd looking.in the space of half an hour his mother is dead in an oven explosion(or so he believes)and his mentor and idol has become a total weirdo and wuss.at this point who would he turn to for advice? Well master roshi of course! Roshi is sitting in his room reading his magazines as usual.gohan knocks on the door and comes in.roshi looks up from his reading.

"Hello gohan what can I do for you?"

Gohan rubs his head.

"Well I've lost my mom and my teacher in the last 45 minutes.what should I do to get rid of this horrible emptiness?"

Master roshi thinks for a while.

"Well if it were me id read this here issue, naked nudity #5.but since your still young and handsome I suggest a dose of the real thing."

Gohan looks confused for a second.

"What do you mean?"

roshi shakes his head.

"Well in case you didn't notice there are a number of hot women in this house just waiting to be grabbed.that tenchi kid obviously has left all those girls hanging as to whom he wants.So I suggest you shake the blues by going for and getting one of them."

Gohan thinks for a minute.

"Hey thats a good idea mister roshi! Thanks!"

Master roshi shakes his head 

"Kids today."

  
  


Its dinner time in the masaki household.At this point Sasami noticed that a number of people were missing.Noboyuuki had left for his office to try and explain missing 3 days of work without leave.The villains were wandering around outside with pilaf.Piccilo was still in the villains room,with various pieces of furniture wedged against the door by the DBZ group.Washu was in the lab as usual and bulma was with her.And most odd of all her sister wasn't around.Sasami was getting worried so she went up the stairs to check their room.She noticed a note on their door written in jurain.Her face turned very red and she quickly took down the sign and hid it.

"Oh my I wonder if he'll survive"

she thought to herself as she descended the stairs.Luckily for Ayeka everyones attention was focused elsewhere.Apparently Cell had called Frieza a fruity purple dinosaur and Frieza had called Cell a scissor headed vacuum butt,so Pilaf had them taking out their aggressions with padded bats.Cell,being a little smarter then Frieza pulled the padding off his bat and started hitting his opponent with the metal rod.Pilaf however decided that this was against the idea of the exercise so the combatants were given baloons instead.At this point the spectators became bored and went back inside.Sasami had set the table for dinner,and was trying to decide how to explain where her sister and Gohan were(bwahahahaha).Washu left the lab and sat down at the table.First to notice she asked Sasami.

"Hey sasami where is Ayeka?"

Sasami thought for a second.

"Oh she isnt feeling good,I think ill bring her dinner up to her."

Bulma was still in the lab and Goku was too busy eating to notice that Gohan was absent also.Kruillin and master roshi were reminicsing about Lunch and wondering were she was now.Yosho had gone back up to the shrine knowing full well what was going on,being a jurain himself.Everyone one was turning in for the night so Tenchi decided to go up and check on Ayeka,to see how she was doing.Before he could open the door though,Sasami stopped him.

"Tenchi you cant open the door"

Tenchi looked a little confused.

"Why not?"

Sasami sighed,embarassed to be the one telling Tenchi.

"Ayeka has initiated the jurain honeymoon with that guy Gohan.They stay in a room together for 3 days and if Gohan survives the "rigorous"rituals of Jurai royal family,then they leave the room and get married."

(Dramatic music plays,you know the Duh,duh,duh)

Tenchi doesnt look too suprised

"Oh come on its not that suprising!The OAV was the only series where I was supposed to choose Ayeka!"

Sasami nods.

"Yeah definitely,I agree its just the script said..."

(Director:YOU TWO SHUT UP AND ACT!)

Tenchi and sasami are both startled and get back in character.Tenchi scratches his head.

"Well i guess its for the best,now I don't have to choose"

Sasami nods.

"Yep I agree."

Tenchi gives Sasami his room and takes the couch.Midnight finds all but 2 (guess who) asleep.

  
  


The next morning was rather quiet and uneventful.Then the villains came downstairs and were arguing over who was the most sensitive.Luckily Sasami served breakfast before the argument got really stupid.Ryoko was hanging on Tenchis arm and he wasnt telling her to leave him alone,so it was probably her happiest day ever.As Sasami was about to start cleaning up,the doorbell rang.

"Hmm I wonder who that is"

Tenchi said as he got up to get the door.The door swung open and a dark shadow cast over the foyer.

"Hi,umm how can I help you umm sir"

Vegetas face twisted into an even angrier mask.

"Im looking for a man called Goku,is he here?"

Goku looks up from his food.His eyes bug-out.

"Ohh poop..."

Vegeta steps through the door frame and walks over to the room where Goku is sitting.

"Kakkarot,I was considering killing you,but now I have a better idea.HBO has offered me 10 million dollars if I fight you on TV for a pay-per-view."

Goku swallowed his food and stood up.

"Ok sounds fine to me!"

(Cue fight bell sound)

  
  


"The largest battle of the millenium!Vegeta vs. Goku in the ultimate fight ever!Order now from HBO for only 39.99 or you real,really suck!"

  
  


The stadium was totaly filled with people.The whole Tenchi group and the whole Dbz group were given complimentary seats (minus Ayeka and Gohan,of course).

Both combatants climbed into the ring.

  
  
  
  
  
  


(NOTE:the fight will be shown as the transcript by the announcers)

  
  


"Well ladies and gentleman this will be quite a fight."

"Thats right John,both these contestants look very determined"

"We go live to ringside"

Michael Buffer steps into the ring.

"Ladies and Gentlemen,boys and girls,Im proud to present,The main event!

(Crowd cheers)

In the red corner,wearing the red karate gi is The greatest hero of the DBZ world. Destroyer of Just about every villain on DBZ ever,weighing in at 200 pounds and measuring 6 feet tall,Its "The main character" GOKU!

(Crowd cheers)

In the blue corner,wearing the sayain battle suit is the prince of all sayains.A big player in all of DBZ,sworn enemy of Goku,weighing in at 180 pounds and measuring 5 foot 10 feet tall,Its "The royal pain in the arse"VEGETA!

(Crowd cheers)

"And now,for the Hundreds of thousands in attendence and the millions watching around the world.....LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!

(Crowd cheers really loud)

DING,DING,DING

"And theres the bell!"

"This is a little odd Dave their not moving at all"

"Its an old DBZ tactic John,the big combatants stand around and glare at each other while the camera pans and zooms in and out"

"Brilliant strategy! It builds suspense and kills time also"

  
  


Early the next morning..

"Well It certainly Has been a waiting game so far,neither fighter has moved"

"Pretty soon they should send out somebody to check that ....Wow the fight has started!"

"Goku and Vegeta are both screaming loudly and are glowing golden!"

"Both fighters hair has turned golden and their eyes are blue!"

"Vegeta charges straight at Goku with a tackle.Goku gets hit hard but stays up and kicks Vegeta in the stomach.Vegeta flies up...flies?Well anyway hes shouts something and fires a ..yellow energy thingee...Goku dodges it and it hits the crowd.The crowd explodes!"

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Goku flies up into the sky and their brawling in the air.Goku does a double axe-handle and Vegeta falls on the turnbuclke!"

"That must have broken his spine!"

"Goku flies straight down at Vegeta.Vegeta jumps up and heel kicks Goku out of the sky.Vegeta Jumps out of the ring and lands on goku with a flying elbow.Vegeta picks him up and throws him into the ring.He trys jumping off the ropes...ohh Goku moves at the last second.Goku grabs Vegeta and throws him into the ropes."

"Look,another energy attack!"

"Goku shouts something and fires a ball of blue energy at Vegeta.Vegeta explodes!No!Hes still alive but hes all burnt where the attack hit him."

"Vegetas about to fall over!"

"Vegeta is down,And Gokus about to administer the final blow!"

"Wait whos that behind Goku?!!"

"ITS RADITZ!"

"He has a 2x4!He hit Goku on the head with it!Goku is down!Vegeta crawls over to Goku and pins him!!!"

"VEGETA WINS!,VEGETA WINS!"

  
  


(end transcript)

  
  


(Cue the "rocky"music)

  
  


Kruillin scrathed his head.

"That was strange.I thought Raditz was dead"

Bulma nods In disblief.

"So did I"

Vegeta stands up in the ring and wipes his brow.

"Well I won and guess what im going to do now!"

Vegeta pulls an electric razor out of a hidden pocket and starts it up.He pulls the unconscoius Goku into a sitting position and starts shaving his opponents head.The crowd cheers as he finishes the job.He gives a patented evil grin.

"Now we're even!"

Goku regains conscoiusness and looks around at the hair all over the ring.

"Oh,well now I don't need a hair brush anymore"

Goku leaves the ring and walks over to the DBZ\tenchi group.Master Roshi starts laughing uncontrolabbly.

"Hahahaha you look like a giant version of Kruillin !"

  
  


Everyone who came to the Fight,including a now molified Vegeta return to the misaki house.As they enter the house they see the door to Ayekas room open for the first time in 3 days.A grinning Ayeka walks out hand in hand with a grinning Gohan.Ayeka is wearing a prestine kimono and Gohan is wearing his karate gi.The fresh clothing cant hide that they are both extremely tired however.Gohan adresses the group.

"Hi everyone....Ayeka and me are getting married tomorrow.Thats about it."

Everyone but Sasami,Tenchi and Yosho are dumbstruck.Then everyone thinks for a second and they all say something like "congradulations"or"we're very happy for you".Ryoko does a jumping jack impersonation and then glomps Tenchi.

"Yay this is the happiest day of my life!"

Vegeta stands up.

"I've finally beaten you once Goku,but it made me realize how empty my life is.SO....Im joining pilafs villian support group to find something to take the place of violence in my life!"

Everyone tips over and falls

  
  
  
  


EPILOGUE

  
  


GOKU:is still acting like goku and seems to have forgotten that vegeta beat him.

GOHAN&AYEKA:are happily married and living on planet jurai.Gohan is king of jurai!who would have thought that huh.

WASHU:is still experimenting,especially on her new #1 guinea pig Kruillin

KRUILLIN:certainly isnt suffering from Wahus experiments

YOSHO:is well Yosho and is still doing the same thing

TENCHI:has started accepting Ryokos "attention"

RYOKO:is expected to die of hapiness any day now

MASTER ROSHI:is still acting like a man a quarter his age

NOBOYUUKI:almost got fired and is now working a lot harder

SASAMI:is back on planet jurai for the moment,instructing the royal cooks

BULMA:is still with Vegeta trying to get him to give up the RSVG

VEGETA:is in the RSVG and loving it

PICCILO:is still green,in the RSVG and has lately fallen in with a beanie baby mouse named"cheese"

PILAF&THE OTHER VILLAINS:are still as sad as ever,working to "embetter"their sensitivity

CHI-CHI:is actually still alive and living with Goku,I just disappeared her so Ayeka and Gohan would have a reason to jump in the sack!

  
  
  
  
  
  


THE END

(unless i get a ton of reviews in which case I'll write a sequel)


End file.
